Saturday, April 24, 2010

blog posts taken down

i have decided to take down the previous blog posts about taj and arina. in light of the current situation, with my cousin's passing on and all, ive come to realised that it's really not worth my time and effort to diss them off when in actual fact, i dont really care. there are better things out there to care about.

i guess i was reacting to the news quite bitchily cause no 1) i do not like their gang because.... leads us to no 2) used to be super close to them. muntah together berak together skip sch together play dikir barat together. and thanks to a certain member of the group and arina's ex fiance, i just couldnt tahan, and left. 3) pple just dont go around jilat your friend's nye ludah even though it's ur ex friend.

then again, everyone meets everyone for a reason. it's jodoh. maybe the reason taj met me, was so that whatever happened between us will lead him to arina. and i met taj for a reason too. i am still trying to figure out, but i guess i must have learnt something.

so yes, i left taj for a reason only God can fully understand. and i remembered it ended quite amicably. neither of us had any other pple. it wasnt because he cheated on me, and i cheated on him. it was just 3 yrs of small mistakes, maybe?

how did it get bad? cause his reaction to me asking to break off the engagement and dating around was annoying. yes taj... "interesting how some people react to news..." but i guess i dont blame him. we were together for 3 yrs. i should have waned him off me a little gentler.

he wasnt all that bad (except for when he is angry and reacts so not coolly and hits out). we were just not meant to be.

i can safely say i have lost all the love for taj that i used to have. i know i had alot of anger towards him. like why did i waste 3 yrs on him. but goes back to the point of fate.

we're all adults. so some basic respect should be observed i guess. if ever he were to die, or arina, for that matter, i would still pay my respects to them as fellow human beings and most importantly, people i used to share a part of my life with, in good and bad times, and helped in shaping me the way i am now.

sometimes, it takes major things to happen to realise that the things you initially thought were major, actually werent. Al-fatihah to my cousin, Masruroh Binte Musa, who passed away at the age of 25, leaving behind her loving husband and son. Now, that's major. A great woman, who was always patient, always smiling and never had any enemies. A good daughter, a good wife, a good mother, a good cousin, im sure a good friend, and most importantly, she was a good Muslim.

The people who left before their time:
Muhammad Irfaan Bin Saemon, my brother, always in loving memory, passed away on 2nd December 2000, at the age of 6
Muhammad Hafiz Bin Abdul Jalil, my cousin, who grew up together with me and lived just a few floors above me, passed away in May 2006, at the age of 20. (19 actually, it was just a few days before his bday)
and now,
Masruroh Binte Musa, 23rd April 2010, at the age of 25

We never know when it's time to go. When He decides that it's time, it's time. Ready or not, it doesnt matter.

But whatever it is, we all were lucky enough to have known our late grandparents, who passed away in April and June 2007. And not to forget our grand uncles, Arwah Yayi Jo and Arwah Yayi Min. To all my cousins, and family memberes, who are reading this, let's always hold them in our memories. Do not be too sad, for they are in a better place, InsyaAllah. Amin.

Posted by L|v|nGdEaD b|tCh at 11:36:00 AM